Letters to the Editor

Share your Shidduch stories, advice, comments, frustrations, and solutions!

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Dear Rabbi Silberstein,

This is just a small token of our appreciation and /hakaras Hatov for the efforts you made on our behalf. We know the hard work and amount of time it takes to be involved in a shidduch and only Hakadosh Boruch Hu can really “pay you back”! Tizku l’Mitzvos and lots of Nachas from your Mishpacha, D. &

M. K.


 

Dear R’ Moshe Silberstein,

My husband and I want to thank you for all your help and guidance during the shidduch process. The wise advice you gave our daughter made the process less stressful. Please accept this small donation. We will continue to support your website in the future.

F.C.


 

Dear Rabbi and Mrs. Silberstein,

Words cannot express our deepest appreciation for your tremendous amount of thought, effort and genuine hard work. We greatly appreciate all the hours of back and forth phone calls that were spent on our behalf. May Hashem grant you and your family much Brocha and Hatzlocha.

Yasher Koach,

Y.T. F.


 

On behalf of myself and all the other singles your organization is helping, I would like to express my sincere gratitude for the great work you're doing. I wish you continued nachat and success in your efforts to help build the jewish future

J.O.


Dear Rabbi Silberstein,

The Shidduch World Website is absolutely incredable!! Truely amazing!! It's beautiful that it has the " Daven for You" and "Ask the Rav" which really helps people. The way to register is great which makes if confidential. The search really works-you get a lot of results. We were very impressed with every detail of the website! You did a fantastic job!! We hope and we have no doubt that many many shidduchim will come out of it. We Wish you much Hatzlacha & Siyatta Dishamya!!

The Kesher Connection Staff


A LETTER TO THE YATED NEEMAN

Dear Reader’s Write,

My chosson and I are writing this letter to give chizuk to all those who are still eagerly waiting for their bashert. After dating for many, many years, we were finally introduced to each other and B”H just got engaged. The wait seemed endless and sometimes we wondered when our yeshua would come, but Hashem never forgets about anyone. Our Simcha would not be complete without thanking (Rabbi Silberstein of) the wonderful organization “shidduchworld.org” that redt our shidduch and was so sympathetic and helpful throughout the whole process. From when we both filled out our information until our shidduch was completed, we felt like we were the #1 priority of shidduchworld.org even though they have a huge database with so many singles. We look forward to IY”H establishing a Bayis Neeman B’Yisroel and bentch all those who have not yet found their bashert, that they do so very soon.

Y.L. & M.C.


Dear Shidduch World,

Much ink has been spilled on the Shidduch topic. Unfortunately, there's hardly a Mishpacha that hasn't been affected by by the difficult Shidduch challenge. Our hearts go out to the many singles and their families who are still waiting to find their Bashert...read more


Dear Shidduch World,

‘Mesiras Nefesh’- A term too frequently used yet not properly understood. A girl that is looking for a bachur who is learning full time, yet feels that they are being Moseir Nefesh; does no good to herself, her husband, or the rest of the world. Mesiras Nefesh does not mean feeling deprived. Feeling deprived is not conducive to living a life totally dedicated to Torah.

When coming out of seminary many girls feel that they should marry someone who is learning full time and want the cream of the crop boy. Once they start feeling deprived, they start nudging those great minds to go out and work. These bachurim feel a need to make their wives happy and so they put their happiness aside to go to work. Is this right of these girls? Because of social pressures girls that would be perfect for such a life are cast aside because they don't have money, aren't professional, don't have Yichus, small waist size, or a myriad of other "reasons". Is this right of the boy or his family? No one is perfect yet each person must thrive to do the right thing. They should marry someone that they are compatible with; not someone necessarily who is like their family, classmates, friends or extended family. If people would stop looking outwards and start looking inwards at themselves there would be less Shalom Bayis problems, more happily married couples, and much more nachas to the Ribono Shel Olom. Sincerely, Anonymous


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Dear Editor, I am writing this letter after an extremely frustrating phone call. I would like to bring up a couple points in the hope that you will show it to your readers and perhaps it will change some peoples mindset.

A) I am a young Kollel Yungerman learning in Lakewood. Though in NO way do I view myself as a professional, I do dabble in shidduchim from time to time. It started off as setting up close friends and relatives, and as time went on I began to work on friends of friends and cousins of cousins etc.. In most cases my phone calls and emails are met with a positive response as people are very thankful that I thought of them. A lot of time however, (and NOT on rare occasion) I feel that I am not being taken seriously and that I am wasting my (and the person I am callings) time. I wonder, in today’s world where there is so much talk about the “shidduch crisis” what can the explanation be? Granted I may not be as aggressive, pushy, and sweet mouthed as the real “professionals” but I definitely have “shaychus to the inyan” and it really would not hurt to listen, take down the info, and do some checking! I understand that some people get many phone calls that are absolutely off the wall (I was in the parsha not too long ago too,) but one really doesn’t know who their shliach will be!

B) Without going in to too much detail, I feel that I must mention that some of the reasoning’s behind a “no” are absolutely ridiculous. Now, I understand in some cases I am not being told the real reason, but many times I am. I recently called the father of a 26-year-old old girl and was told that they aren’t interested in the boy because his family “isn’t heimish enough”! I realize that there is something to having similar backrounds but she is 26 (and their families aren’t all that different)!! At least consider it… Recently a 25-year-old old girl (who comes from a divorced home if I may add) told my wife that the 29-year-old old boy we were redding is too old and “probably way ahead of her in life”! I am talking about regular bais yakov type girls. (Obviously this applies to the boys side as well -IF NOT MORE- just everyone always talks about how much harder it is for the girls…) Rabbossai - Step one to alleviate the crisis is to try to be just a drop -JUST A DROP- more open-minded. (This comes before putting aside money issues and out of town etc). C) This point is addressed to all the other young couples in LKWD and Eretz Yisroel or wherever you may be - If you have a shidduch idea RED IT!! Even if you are not 100% sure that it is a match - or even a 70% match - no harm can come from redding it (besides for some frustration perhaps). We hear about shidduchim -all the time- that end up working things out that we never would have imagined. We all have friends and our wives have friends and cousins etc. there has to be something that makes some sense somewhere! Again, one never knows who the shliach may be and the zichusim are tremendous. One of today’s Gedoley Hador told me that the zechus of trying to set someone up - just letting them know that you are thinking of them - is immeasurable. Hopefully I enlightened someone out there and I am very interested in hearing feedback. Hatzlocho !


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